Actions Speak Louder Than Words
by Laura Ann Yates
Summary: What if when Kensi and Granger first found Deeks and Sam in 5x01 'Ascension', Deeks still had the contraption in his mouth? What would he have wanted to say to her, but couldn't? Prompt from: Runner043 [fanfiction]


**This came from a prompt from **_Runner043_** [fanfiction] following 'Ascension'.**

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**Kensi's POV**

I pull up outside the auto body shop, my heart pounding in my chest. Granger covers my back as I crouch beside the door to pick the lock. A million and one thoughts race each other around my mind, all begging for attention. _Is he still alive? How far did Sidorov go? Will Sidorov still be there with them?_ I know nothing can prepare me for whatever we will find inside. I take a second to collect myself before I draw my gun and we enter, Granger a head of me. Deeks raises his head and looks in our direction, and as soon as he does I'm gone. I can feel myself crumbling as our eyes lock.

"I got Sam." I hear him say. His words don't register as I fall to my knees in front of Deeks.

"Deeks." I'm on the verge of breaking down, I know it. I have to stay strong. I cannot let him see me weak. She can hear him mutter, trying to speak around the contraption in his mouth. I want so much to remove it, so he can talk, so he can tell me what he wants, so I can hear that drawl of his; that drawl that I make fun of but secretly love. "I'm sorry Deeks; I shouldn't have run off like that. But I promise that when we finish this, we can talk and we can finally work out this thing we have and you can call Ray, like you said you would when we came to our senses."

"Kensi, the kit." Granger calls across to me. I reach into my backpack and throw the desired item across to him. I reach in again and pull out a similar kit. I take the blood packs and slip them up his shirt. I feel his silk like skin under my hands and I long for the days I can do this without it being to save his life.

"You got to stay here just a while longer." I tell him, reaching a hand out to caress his cheek "I'm sorry." I see him roll his head back, tears in his eyes. He wants out. "I'm so sorry I don't have much time."

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**Deeks' POV**

I hear the roar of an engine die just a few feet away. _He's back._ I tense up, preparing for another round of torture; another dose of pain, but then I hear a scratch in the look, like someone is trying to pick the lock. _Why would Sidorov need to pick the lock to his own garage?_ I raise my head and look towards the commotion and that's when I see them; Kensi and Granger. I had never been so glad to see either of them. My eyes lock with Kensi's, I plead with her to cut me loose, to get me out of there.

She falls to her knees in front of me and I can see she is trying so hard to keep it together. She thinks that she needs to stay strong in front of me, that I'll leave as soon as she shows her vulnerable side, but that will never be the case. The only way I am ever leaving Kensi for good is in a body bag.

I attempt to talk to her, to tell her how sorry I am for not communicating with her properly. I want to tell her how scared I am and that the only way I'm still here is because of how much I love her; I want to tell her that her smile, her laugh, her everything is the only thing keeping me alive, keeping me fighting.

A smile tugs at the corners of her lips and tears well in her eyes as she says "I'm sorry Deeks; I shouldn't have run off like that. But I promise that when we finish this, we can talk and we can finally work out this thing we have and you can call Ray, like you said you would when we came to our senses." I want to laugh. I want to tell her we do have a thing. All these years, whenever our thing has been brought up, it's always been me to say _there is no thing_ but I'm ready to admit there is a thing. We have a thing and I want nothing more than to act on that thing right now. I want to bury my hands in her hair and pull her close to me. I want to kiss her like there is no tomorrow.

"Kensi, the kit." She pulls two black packs from her backpack and throws one across to Granger. She pulls two blood packs from the one in her hands, and slips them up my shirt. I feel her hands shake as they brush across my chest and I long for the day when she can do this without it being to save my life.

With the packs in place, her eyes lock with mine once more. "You got to stay here just a while longer." She tells me, her hand reaching out to caress my cheek. "I'm sorry." I see him roll his head back, tears in his eyes. He wants out. "I'm so sorry I don't have much time."

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**If there is anything you would like to see me write, feel free to leave a prompt either in a review or in my inbox. But please make sure that it is for a show that you know I watch.**


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